That said, this isn’t going to be so much of a blow-by-blow review as it is a thinkpiece from someone who’s thought way too long and hard about The Blair Witch Project as a universe over the last 15 years.
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Go to a movie theater right now, because in another day or so I can’t help you avoid this shit. If you’re going to see this movie and haven’t yet, don’t read this. I had a very vital facet of this movie ruined for me by a friend’s casual FB post, and I wish I hadn’t seen it.
Speaking of time, and the fallacy of it in Blair Witch, and other things: there will be spoilers in this. Did she? Is it Carrie from Sex In The City? Because that would be awesome and also insert a time travel storyline into Bridget Jones and I fucking love time travel storylines. As palpable as my excitement was, I couldn’t hold a candle to the gaggle of 20-somethings flocking into the theater adjacent to Blair Witch, which was showing Bridget Jones’ Baby. Imagine me clapping my hands together and shouting “SHOWTIME!” like those kids on the train, because that’s basically how I was Friday night going into seeing Blair Witch.
Why is Heather so earnest? I don't believe her.Let's hope it'll have audiences screaming out of fear and not something else.īelow, is a selection of my notes taken throughout the film.
No film can recreate the suspense of the original, but it could come close. The new Blair Witch opens Friday, September 16. That's crazy for a movie made with a $60K budget. (Apparently, some people actually thought they had all died.) On the other hand, it sounds like total torture for the actors. In its way, it's brilliant because no one knew who these people were and the found footage aspect made it all the more believable. They played tricks and mind games and even blasted creepy children's voices through a boombox to add new layers of horror. The production team built the rock formations at night so the actors would wake up and react to them. The entire script was 35 pages long, and each of the three unknown actors was given individual instructions each day, instructions that the directors and producers intentionally designed to cause drama. It is the “true story” of three strangers, picked to go into the woods, make a movie together, and have their lives taped, to stop being polite and start getting real. Like: The Blair Witch Project is essentially one big (fake) reality show. "Still," I thought, "the story could surprise me." It didn't, but I can see how it would have in 1999 because the internet was so young and found footage wasn't yet a gimmick.īut it's 2016 and the only things that did surprise me were the facts my boyfriend kept spitting out throughout the movie and that I read up on after. He had never seen it either, but we both knew about the movie's ending and all. My boyfriend, who hates scary movies and tried to get out of coming over that night, was there, too.
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I watched the movie in my living room on an oddly free NYFW Saturday night. Turns out, I'm pretty desensitized. That, or The Blair Witch Project just isn't scary. While, on the one hand, too many similarities could be a problem for audiences wanting innovation over old tricks, but when those old tricks helped make the original Blair Witch Project one of the scariest films to ever be released, maybe that's a good thing.Īll of which is to say, having somehow lived under a rock for most of my life and never seen the 1999 movie, I decided it was time to watch all 81 minutes of it. It's gotten decent reviews so far Ben Travers says it's "downright inspiring" and The Verge says it delivers the same scares as the original and uses similar techniques in order to do so. This time around, there's a bigger budget and more experienced actors than the 1999 phenomenon. (See: critically acclaimed but not yet released La La Land.) This week, however, one of Hollywood's most original stories of the last couple decades, The Blair Witch Project, is getting the 2016 update. Even when a project isn't based on a book, play, or "real-life" event, it usually references other movies. Nothing is original in Hollywood anymore.
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